The Romantic: You’ve watched every rom com out there and are looking for a soulmates-kind-of-love like Allie and Noah’s in The Notebook. Settling is definitely not your thing. You’ll know you’ve found THE guy because he’ll shower you with love, affection and gifts while whispering poetry in your ear at a dinner he organized next to a waterfall as a band he hired plays your favorite songs beneath the setting sun. It will be beautiful.
If you’re her, remember: There’s nothing wrong with holding out for your soulmate or expecting your guy to be a romantic but be reasonable. Men in real life don’t behave like characters played by Ryan Gosling on screen.
The Cynic: You’re not a fool. You’ve been around the block once or twice and your bullshit detection system is so tight, it could have been built by NASA. When you meet a guy, you don’t fall hard and fast — you actually assume he’s an asshole from the beginning and make him prove he’s not — you’ve had your heart broken a few times and, damnit, you will not let it happen again.
If you’re her, remember: We’re all for making a guy prove he’s worthy before letting him in but being too careful/scared can make you seem closed and limit your opportunities. Be open, hope for the best, and take chances. Like they say in the lottery ads, you can’t win if you don’t play!
The Picky Bitch: You are the bomb so, of course, it takes an extraordinary man to capture your attention. If he doesn’t check all the boxes on your ever-growing list, you can’t be bothered. Your friends say you’re being too selective but you disagree — you just have standards. You know what you want and you’re going to wait until he comes along.
If you’re her, remember: Love is an adventure — it’s unpredictable — so there’s a huge chance that the person who knocks your socks off won’t be anything like what you imagined. Toss that list and take every guy on a case-by-case basis. If you don’t, you could miss out on some amazing experiences, lessons and the guy of your dreams.
The Serial Dater: OMG, what’s everyone bitching about? It’s not that hard to find a guy. Maybe not for you because, well, you like everyone. That guy who’s totally boring? At least he has a good job. That guy who’s not smart at all? At least he’s fun. Your friends think it’s weird that you don’t have a type and accuse you of not having standards but you don’t care — as far as you’re concerned, they’re just jealous because you’re always with someone.
If you’re her, remember: Being open is great but being so open that you’re always taken isn’t healthy. It’s important to take some time for yourself in between relationships to reflect on what you need and really want — we bet you’ll suddenly become more picky.
The Desperate Chick: Like the Serial Dater, you’ll give anyone a shot but your reasons are different. You’re tired of dating and scared to end up alone. You NEED to be with someone, like right now, or you’re going to end up spending another evening binge-watching The Mindy Project with a bag of oreos. Your solution: trying really, really, REALLY hard.
If you’re her, remember: Trying too hard is an awesome way to end up with a terrible guy. You need to put dating and men out of your mind for a while and just have fun. Stop trying to force it… If you step back a little, stop obsessing, and take the pressure off, dating will be fun again.
The Fatalist: You are done. Not done like The Desperate Chick who’s just ready to accept anyone but DONE as in romantic comedies just straight up piss you off now because you realize what bullshit this whole love thing is. You tried, it didn’t happen, and now you’re just going to chill in your apartment and let yourself go because why even bother? All those people who are in love are eventually going to break up or get divorced anyway. You’re just saving yourself the heartache.
If you’re her, remember: Rejection, breakups, heartache — that stuff is HARD. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to give up. The reward is too big not to try. You don’t realize that because you haven’t met the right person yet. But when you do, you’ll understand why it was all worth it. So stop bitching and pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game.
I think I am in type of the romantic.
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